All optimism aside, the road also seems to present you with the strangest things you never wanted to see. Most of these occur at the most mundane of places: drive through restaurants, those gas station/mini mart/fast food joints out in the middle of nowhere. You get the picture.
I drove across America in June. From Atlanta to Tampa Bay, to Washington DC, to NYC, back to Atlanta, and then California. Long freaking drive. Especially Texas, which deserves to be listed twice just due to sheer size. Texas (There, I did it)
While I might reserve the average, “let-me-brag-about-my-cool-experiences-online” run-of-the-mill travel experiences for a later blog, my current goal is to call attention to the crazy shit that lurks in the long desolate stretches between cities in the US. For the sake of brevity, I’ll list the top three travel misadventures (author’s note, these are collective stories from the trip, I wasn’t stupid enough to drive that far alone):
1. Valdosta, GA—I made a pit stop in the city’s main attraction: The Mall. I tried on a dress, and upon looking in the mirror, I noticed an enormous jizz stain on the black dress I had just put on. Needless to say, I didn’t buy it, and then ran screaming out of the store (not quite screaming, but you can picture my reaction, right?)
2. Blythe, CA-The back of the Chevron Gas station has signs posted for a massage room. Upon closer investigation, it turns out that Blythe CA hosts a gas station-mini mart-BROTHEL combination. (Also, my reaction entailed screaming and running for the car)
3. On 95 somewhere in Virginia near North Carolina: my travel partner witnesses a man bathing in a barrel behind a motel. This time he is the one screaming and running while I drive the getaway car.
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